Hello hello hello! It’s the weekend and I am flying high. I have been enjoying being far far away from work and have been spending every moment anticipating Europa!
Yesterday afternoon, I had a Mojo bar for a snack (love those) and spent the evening doing some preliminary packing and cooking dinner for love bug. During all of this, I snacked on some Mary’s Gone Quackers, an apple, and plenty of raw veggies. Dinner was centered around a simple pasta salad- chopped veggies mixed with whole wheat shells, lemon pepper, garic powder, and fat free dressing. It was really hot out, and I wanted us to have something refreshing to eat.
Here’s Mike’s plate- a huge serving of pasta with a few spin leaves for garnish and a chicken breast coated in whole wheat flour and cooked in a little butter. He loved it!
Here’s the lady plate- a bed of steamed kale, with a small amount (maybe 1/2c.?) of the salad and a ring o’cucumber slices. Num!!
For dessert I had another unpictured apple.
I slept like a LOG last night and felt totally exhausted this morning. Seriously, it felt like I was hung over, despite not having a drink since 2 weeks ago! I decided to give Amazing Grass another try.
This time, I dissolved a chocolate packet in 8 oz. of water and added a packet of Stevia. And ya know what? It tasted fine!!!!! Hooray!!!!!! Believe it or not, I began to feel better.
Later in the morning I made us a perfetto brunchie: omelettes, duh!
I had an apple for dessert.
Later on in the afternoon, I took a walk with my little sis from my sorority. We had a blast talking about boys and drama and other fun stuff. Sometimes I forget what an old lady I have become! Most of my girlfriends go out every Friday and Saturday, flirt with boys, and sometimes wake up at places that are not their own homes. Me? Not so much! Don’t get me wrong, I leerrrrve being engaged, but it’s fun to hear the crazy stories my lady friends have! We stopped for a little fro-yo along the way, as I was beginning to get a little lightheaded and short of breath (huh?).
I got a small with chocolate and pb chips. It was to die for. Uh-mazing. After we said goodbye, I took a walk and ran some errands, including buying a box of chocolate Amazing Grass packets to take with me on vacay. I am so thrilled I thought of this!
By the time I got home, I was back to feeling incredibly hungry, lightheaded, and out of breath. I needed food, and I needed it fast. I immediately made a spread of exactly what I was craving that contained a broad spectrium of nutrients: a fresh whole wheat roll from WF, a packet of Justin’s Organic Peanut Butter, a ripe banana, and a bowl of chopped veggies.
I ate this hungrily and quickly. Where I enjoyed it, I felt more like I was fueling to keep myself going. At one point, Mike wanted me to go into the other room to see him, and I told him I couldn’t; that I really had to finish eating. Wow! If that wasn’t my body speaking to me, then I don’t know what it was!
After eating this lovely spread, I still felt crappy and ravenous. I swear, it was like operation hunger. I decided to listen, and had a peanut butter granola bar (so delish) and about 2-3 servings of Mary’s Gone Quackers with various condiments- hummus and cream cheese. (Weird, right? I felt like I really needed some extra fat!)
At this point, I was feeling better, but still wasn’t full!!! I knew a bulky, fiberfull apple would do the trick, so I chopped one up and munched, and finally I felt better.
I’m sitting at the computer feeling a bajillion times better, and am glad I was able to listen to my body. My nutritionist says that despite eating well for over a year now, my body is STILL quite damaged from the anorexia (if you are really interested in the dirty details, email me and I can tell you privately) and my glycogen stores are still depleted. This means that when normal people run out of fuel, they can rely on their glycogen stores to sustain them and keep them feeling fine until they eat next. This is why Mike can go for like 10 hours without eating and be absolutely fine. Me? If I go for like 3 hours without eating I start to feel weak! Even though it’s been over a year of healthy eating, I am still making up for 13 years of abuse, but I have faith that my glycogen stores and everything else will return to normal because I have made a commitment never to starve again.
Ick. It’s Saturday- enough seriousness! On that note, I’m about to straighten my hair and put on something cute before joining my lova and his buddies at Hooters to watch the Yankee game. Yeah, I know.
Hey, who am I to hate on the blond and buxom?
12 Comments
June 27, 2009 at 11:24 pm
That is so crazy about the glycogen stores. Do you know how long it takes to rebuild them??
June 27, 2009 at 11:57 pm
Wow, really crazy and super interesting and enlightening. I’ve been to my share of nutrishies, trainers and docs and never been told that. I often wonder why “normies” can go FOR-EVER without eating
Not me. Sooo soo happy that recovery is real and attainable- we are living proof! Have fun at hooter’s ha
June 28, 2009 at 12:31 am
Good job listening to your body! Smart idea going for the cream cheese…fat is a great way to satiate hunger quickly. Plus cream cheese is just delicious.
June 28, 2009 at 2:14 am
great job for listening to your hunger today… i’ve heard it is hard to reverse that much damage – i struggled with anorexia for almost a year so it’s not as bad but i still face similar things. anyways, you will have a fabulous trip to europa soon! i’m super jealous i’m stuck here in rainy boston all summer boo
June 28, 2009 at 3:49 am
Hi Anna,
I am a huge fan of your blog, and I think it’s because of your incredible honesty. Your advice/wisdom/life lessons about food and love and loving yourself have actually helped me many times. I just moved to New York City this summer and more than once have beaten myself up about not getting to the gym, even though I walk EVERYWHERE. But when I read your blog it’s a little reminder that it’s ok to skip a day, it’s ok to just do some stretches or yoga or even just watch tv. Also, walking around here and seeing the many famous bakeries and not indulging has contributed to giving me a major major yearning for something sweet. Tonight I finally let myself have what I was craving–a HUGE piece of cake from Magnolia Cupcakes. And I am so happy I made that decision! It satisfied my cravings in a BIG way.
Have SO much fun in Italy, I can’t wait to hear your descriptions of the food and culture and art there.
June 28, 2009 at 12:51 pm
I am totally in the same boat! My hubby, also named Mike (weird, huh), can go practically all day without eating and still be functional. Me… It’s considered an accomplishment if I make it 5 hours between meals/snacks. I was severely malnourished (79 lbs.) due to undiagnosed Celiac’s Disease, so I basically have the same physical problems as someone recovering from anorexia. It’s a good thing I love food so much!
June 28, 2009 at 2:13 pm
Way to listen to your body
It’s amazing how eating becomes easier and easier when you start to pay attention to those basic needs.
I think we will all be living vicariously through your Italia trip!
June 28, 2009 at 5:10 pm
I had no idea why I can go such a short time without food- I thought I was fine since I don’t restrict anymore…guess the damage takes a while to repair
Onwards and upwards!
June 28, 2009 at 7:32 pm
I really like your blog, but who says all Hooter’s girls have no college degree?
June 28, 2009 at 10:34 pm
Anon- touche!! I apologize, and will change accordingly.
June 28, 2009 at 9:38 pm
You’re doing great! I hope you have a wonderful wonderful bar night. I’d love to know more about what’s going on medically–I took Chemistry in the hopes of becoming an RD (didn’t work out) and I’ve taken other health-related classes, but none addressed undernutrition as much as I would have liked, and learning more from you would be great. I also have (at least two) more personal reasons for asking (1) I used to have an ED, and even once back at a healthy weight I could get rediculously hungry too and (2)I love reading your blog! If you don’t want to share then I totally understand.
June 28, 2009 at 11:59 pm
love reading your blog..so stylish and fun..Ive recently been having the same problems (been eating normal for about a year too) with the whole eating a normal meal and being completely RAVENOUS like an hour later..like stomach churning! what were the the so called “dirty deets” the nutritionist gave you..im interested in knowing why this happens etc!